


gunplay

by loquat



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Domestic, Fluff, Guns, M/M, Yifan's Birthday Week 2020, as domestic as you can get w guns and all that, because i don't know how gunplay works, i did not write any actual gunplay, if this can be considered fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loquat/pseuds/loquat
Summary: yifan's boyfriend is an assassin who seriously needs to work on his humor.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35
Collections: Challenge #9 — Behind the Mask





	gunplay

**Author's Note:**

> i love yifan.

"got you the gun you wanted, babe!" 

yifan glared crossly at the man who walked into the apartment, holding a nerf gun. "junmyeon when i told you i wanted to try gunplay i did not mean gunplay with a fucking nerf gun." 

"well it was worth a try," junmyeon said, tossing the nerf gun away and snuggling into yifan, "after all you never specified what type of gun." 

"so your first thought was to use a nerf gun and not one of the guns you use to kill someone?" yifan deadpanned. 

"yes?" junmyeon responded sheepishly. "i mean for all i knew, you might've meant that you wanted me to point a nerf gun at you instead of my actual guns." 

yifan just pouted and ran his hand through junmyeon's hair. "do you not want to try gunplay?" he asked softly, more timidly than normal. 

"of course i want to try, i'd do anything for you, you know that," junmyeon protested, "but there's a difference in pointing a gun at someone who is your target and pointing a gun at your boyfriend." 

"in that case, please get your actual fucking gun that you've used to shoot people with and come point it at me or something." 

-

throughout the five years of yifan and junmyeon dating, the most common misperception of them was that yifan was the person to be afraid of. because junmyeon, in his soft sweaters and obsession with bunnies and bunny-rrelated things, never gave off the impression that he was in fact an assassin who is able to ruthlessly kill people. while yifan, tall and almost constantly wearing black hoodies, instantly set off alarm bells. 

in reality, yifan was just tall as fuck. and junmyeon just played up his cuteness to the maximum. 

at home, junmyeon was the one more likely to wear black and leather jackets than yifan was. not that any of their friends knew that. 

-

"hey yifan," junmyeon's gentle voice broke through yifan's dream. "i have another assignment, i'll likely be gone for a week or so, if it goes according to plan. junmyeon pressed a kiss to yifan's forehead. 

yifan blinked his eyes open sleepily, "ah, go complete your mission and come back home safely." 

"i always do." junmyeon stepped away from yifan. 

yifan startled up, "wait, when you come back, bring your gun!" 

junmyeon offered him a simple thumbs up in response, satisfied, yifan fell back asleep. he had around 2 hours before his mind would catch up with the fact his junmyeon was once again out on a mission where someone would die. 

-

it took roughly eleven days of pouting in his and junmyeon's apartment and periodically attempting to text junmyeon before junmyeon returned. 

except junmyeon returned with a pink gun. that shot glitter. 

"you asked me to bring the gun, and this is the gun i used!" junmyeon smirked at how unimpressed yifan looked. "also aren't you like, supposed to be happy i returned unscathed?" 

yifan glared at him. then jumped into junmyeon's arms. ah, the advantages of having a strong boyfriend. "just bring one of your normal guns. _please._ " 

-

for a man who shot up people rather regularly, junmyeon was very soft, yifan noted. junmyeon was currently preoccupied with hugging a huge bunny plushie that he had won from a game. the fluffy striped gray sweater junmyeon was wearing, really made him look like the softest, least scary man alive. if junmyeon had access to yifan's thoughts he'd probably argue that it's only because yifan loves him. junmyeon's giggle pulled yifan out of his thoughts. 

junmyeon was making the bunny plushie dance. or something that was vaguely reminiscent of the choreography a kpop group danced. it mostly looked like the bunny was just jumpy. 

-

after what felt like a lifetime, junmyeon had finally brought home one of his actual guns. said gun was pointed right at yifan's head. 

-

"how was that, babe? everything you expected?" junmyeon asked his somewhat dazed boyfriend. 

"mhm and then some," yifan mumbled. "can we do that again sometime?" 

"only if i get to use the pink sparkle gun once," junmyeon bargained, patting yifan's head. 

yifan hummed, "fine, but promise me that it will only happen once." 

"what if you find out that you like it though? if i promise to only do it once then you'll never get to have it again," junmyeon pouted. honestly for being a very successful assassin, he was such a brat. 

yifan swatted at him. "you're so annoying, i hate you." 

"not what you said thirty minutes ago!" 

the obvious, logical course of action for retaliation? tickling. junmyeon's shrieks of laughter filled their apartment. yifan laughed as junmyeon finally squirmed out from under him. junmyeon, despite being an assassin with a terrible sense of humor, was yifan's home. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm actually not for ot12 exo i just can't write a fic without junmyeon apparently. 
> 
> please don't ask what this even is, i'm not sure either.


End file.
